So, I started up some writing projects. I'll post about them some more when I get into them a bit more, I think.
Other than that, I think I need to do some more movie reviews here or maybe some Austin restaurant reviews? That's something I'm thinking about now. Going to be a challenge; though, while I'm on this diet!
Yup, that's right, starting Atkins back up now. So, we'll see how long this lasts, but maybe that just a new opportunity, right? Find good places with carb watcher meals, eh?
Other than that, not too much going on. Just pushing and trying to make it, you know? Gotta find my place in the world.
Just wanted to drop by and share!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Frustration and Laziness
I've always been lazy, but never really creatively lazy. Never really just "blah". There was always a bit of productivity there, too. Probably not as much as it should have been, and maybe this is my punishment for that mistake.
In high school, I had school to focus on with a goal in mind--college. That's what was next. I scored the grades and the scholarships, and that's where I went.
In college, it was all about getting that degree. I did it. I finished and got a degree. Perhaps I chose the wrong degree. Maybe I should have focused on something more practical. That's done and over now. I have a BA in English (concentration in professional writing).
And then, that was it. What was next? Graduate school? Nah. In hindsight, maybe that's what I should have aimed for; though. It was fear of loans and debts that scared me away the most. So, then what? Start working. But where and with whom doing what? I didn't know. I never really thought about it.
I always wanted to be a writer, and as all good writers, I had that one story. Of course, as with all writers, I never actually wrote it. It just sits there, not knowing how to flow from mind to page. And in college, I never wrote it. To this day, I've never wrote it. And other stories have come up, but I never wrote them either. Not more than a thousand words here or there.
So, not really writer, I guess. I have a degree, but that doesn't mean much when you can't get the writing samples together to offer them to a potential employer.
What came next was my dream to work in a particular industry. I decided to go the route of Customer Service to get into that industry, and you know what, I actually liked it. I enjoyed going to work each day. And I had options and places to go at that point.
Three years later, I don't feel like I have anywhere else to go. And I don't know where to go outside of where I am now. It's not like it was my first year or even my second.
And now when I get home, I don't want to do anything but be lazy. It doesn't help that my current shift is very odd hours either.
It's my fault; though, and every time I set out to do something about it, I get lost. I don't know where to go or how to do it.
It's not like I'm doing terrible in life. I live on my own, and pretty much pay all of my bills. Living alone is not cheap, and I'm managing to do it without being utterly broke, so that's a success, right?
But it's hard to see success when you don't feel successful. And I really don't anymore. I feel like I'm working toward something that I'm not really sure about, and I'm not really getting there anyway.
And even if I did, what next?
Don't get me wrong, I do actually enjoy my job. The details at least, not so much the bigger picture. Nor do I enjoy the other crap that comes with it; however, I know that is the same with every job now. I saw it when I worked with my dad, and I always hoped that I'd find a place that didn't have that stuff. Now I know that such a place doesn't really exist. Not permanently at least.
Now if I could only find a way to fix myself. To fix the slump I'm in, and break out there.
In high school, I had school to focus on with a goal in mind--college. That's what was next. I scored the grades and the scholarships, and that's where I went.
In college, it was all about getting that degree. I did it. I finished and got a degree. Perhaps I chose the wrong degree. Maybe I should have focused on something more practical. That's done and over now. I have a BA in English (concentration in professional writing).
And then, that was it. What was next? Graduate school? Nah. In hindsight, maybe that's what I should have aimed for; though. It was fear of loans and debts that scared me away the most. So, then what? Start working. But where and with whom doing what? I didn't know. I never really thought about it.
I always wanted to be a writer, and as all good writers, I had that one story. Of course, as with all writers, I never actually wrote it. It just sits there, not knowing how to flow from mind to page. And in college, I never wrote it. To this day, I've never wrote it. And other stories have come up, but I never wrote them either. Not more than a thousand words here or there.
So, not really writer, I guess. I have a degree, but that doesn't mean much when you can't get the writing samples together to offer them to a potential employer.
What came next was my dream to work in a particular industry. I decided to go the route of Customer Service to get into that industry, and you know what, I actually liked it. I enjoyed going to work each day. And I had options and places to go at that point.
Three years later, I don't feel like I have anywhere else to go. And I don't know where to go outside of where I am now. It's not like it was my first year or even my second.
And now when I get home, I don't want to do anything but be lazy. It doesn't help that my current shift is very odd hours either.
It's my fault; though, and every time I set out to do something about it, I get lost. I don't know where to go or how to do it.
It's not like I'm doing terrible in life. I live on my own, and pretty much pay all of my bills. Living alone is not cheap, and I'm managing to do it without being utterly broke, so that's a success, right?
But it's hard to see success when you don't feel successful. And I really don't anymore. I feel like I'm working toward something that I'm not really sure about, and I'm not really getting there anyway.
And even if I did, what next?
Don't get me wrong, I do actually enjoy my job. The details at least, not so much the bigger picture. Nor do I enjoy the other crap that comes with it; however, I know that is the same with every job now. I saw it when I worked with my dad, and I always hoped that I'd find a place that didn't have that stuff. Now I know that such a place doesn't really exist. Not permanently at least.
Now if I could only find a way to fix myself. To fix the slump I'm in, and break out there.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Just writing
I have ideas. Lots of them. Different stories. Some even interconnecting. They're all there. In my head. I know how some begin. I know how some end. I know bits and pieces here and there. But I don't know the most important parts. The details.
I know the larger settings, but not the specifics. I know where I want to go, but not how to get there.
This is true in my writing as well as my professional life. I know where I want to go, but I don't fully understand what I need to do to get there.
As for the professional part, maybe I just need to be really awesome in the interview. I don't really know what else to do on the personal side to show that I can write.
Then, it all comes back to that. Personal writing. As mentioned above, I have many ideas for creative writing; however, not so much for other forms. I need an assignment or project. Something directed. I've had a few things like that at work recently, and I feel they were pretty successful; however, the opportunities are few and far between.
I really tried with web development, and I understand the basics of HTML, XHTML, and CSS; however, in the end, I just don't find it interesting. I like writing. I like taking words and creating with them. I like taking assignments and producing.
Back to creative stuff.NaNoWirMo is starting up in November like normal. I think I should do it. I want to do it. I think I have an idea for it. I just need to make the details happen. I need to make the story appear on paper. 50,000+ words by the end of November. How do I get the details right? That's where the devil is, right?
I honestly love what I do. I know I'm good at it; however, I don't want to do it forever. I want to write. I want to write for the company I'm part of now. And, while it may sound silly, I don't care what department in the company I write for.
Someone may see that as, "Oh, you're not passionate," or, "You just want out of what you're doing now." That's not true. I love my company, and I really feel I can write in any department. I know I can write any form, and I may be rusty on some but I can learn anything. I am passionate. I burn like a fire. I care about this company. I know it's not true, but sometimes I feel like the only one.
I do know it's true that, to some, it's simply a job they do for money to pay bills and party. But I use the products. I care about them. I care about the future. I want to be part of it, I want to build it.
I just don't know how. I don't know how to be part of it. I always feel outside the structure.
I'm going to try to buckle down. I want to do NaNoWriMo. I need to. I need to produce solid, completed creative writing. I do want to be more than just a writer in name. I want to be a novelist. I just need the details.
I know the larger settings, but not the specifics. I know where I want to go, but not how to get there.
This is true in my writing as well as my professional life. I know where I want to go, but I don't fully understand what I need to do to get there.
As for the professional part, maybe I just need to be really awesome in the interview. I don't really know what else to do on the personal side to show that I can write.
Then, it all comes back to that. Personal writing. As mentioned above, I have many ideas for creative writing; however, not so much for other forms. I need an assignment or project. Something directed. I've had a few things like that at work recently, and I feel they were pretty successful; however, the opportunities are few and far between.
I really tried with web development, and I understand the basics of HTML, XHTML, and CSS; however, in the end, I just don't find it interesting. I like writing. I like taking words and creating with them. I like taking assignments and producing.
Back to creative stuff.
I honestly love what I do. I know I'm good at it; however, I don't want to do it forever. I want to write. I want to write for the company I'm part of now. And, while it may sound silly, I don't care what department in the company I write for.
Someone may see that as, "Oh, you're not passionate," or, "You just want out of what you're doing now." That's not true. I love my company, and I really feel I can write in any department. I know I can write any form, and I may be rusty on some but I can learn anything. I am passionate. I burn like a fire. I care about this company. I know it's not true, but sometimes I feel like the only one.
I do know it's true that, to some, it's simply a job they do for money to pay bills and party. But I use the products. I care about them. I care about the future. I want to be part of it, I want to build it.
I just don't know how. I don't know how to be part of it. I always feel outside the structure.
I'm going to try to buckle down. I want to do NaNoWriMo. I need to. I need to produce solid, completed creative writing. I do want to be more than just a writer in name. I want to be a novelist. I just need the details.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
A Portfolio
So, I am a writer. That's what I've always wanted to be, and that's what I am. I can write. Everyone that has ever read anything I've written has told me so. So, there is no question to that statement. I am a writer.
However, that alone will not get me a job writing. Only writing will do that for me. However, I've been a little stuck on what to write.
Ultimately, I do want to be a creative writer, and that's why I'm working on projects like Found. It's why I'm trying to work with a friend on a webcomic idea. It's why I'm working with two different group of friends on some game design ideas. And, it's why I'm always trying to think of a story to write.
I don't think I've been very successful; though, when it comes to creative writing. I've yet to finish a story, or create one that I've been able to stick to. Of course, like all creative writers, I do have that one story, but I've just not been able to sit down and get it out.
If I want to be part of the game industry as far as creative development goes, I need to do something. I need to make a change. I need to write something. I have to find that spark, that creative fount that overflows. If you happen to know where it is, let me know.
Outside of creative writing; though, I am solid at other types of writing. Professional and technical. I mean, you've seen two of my reviews, and I think they're pretty good. The same goes for things I write up at work for customers. They're generally "form" type letters that expresses my compay’s stance on a certain situation. So, far, I think I've produced some very good ones! Other people seem to agree.
Now, technical writing, there are a few jobs at my company that needs a technical writer. Never really see anything for professional writers, but technical writing is where it is at there. Though, to be fair, professional writing can lend itself to technical writing. Any good writing can lend itself to a different type.
I need some technical writing samples; though. I need something to show potential employers that I can write.
I'm just not sure what to write up. I'm thinking of putting together a small technical document for the Starcraft II editor. It's a pretty cool tool, and it would be fun to play around with and write about. Same can be said for the Neverwinter Editor as well.
Maybe some screenshots and explanation of the toolbars and actions in the editor.
This is all leading to something. I want an active, growing portfolio of writing examples from creative to technical. I want to make it online as well. I also want to include level design samples as well as design documents for those levels.
Yes, I really do want to be in the game industry. I want to be part of the creation aspect; though.
So, here I sit, wondering where to go from here.
However, that alone will not get me a job writing. Only writing will do that for me. However, I've been a little stuck on what to write.
Ultimately, I do want to be a creative writer, and that's why I'm working on projects like Found. It's why I'm trying to work with a friend on a webcomic idea. It's why I'm working with two different group of friends on some game design ideas. And, it's why I'm always trying to think of a story to write.
I don't think I've been very successful; though, when it comes to creative writing. I've yet to finish a story, or create one that I've been able to stick to. Of course, like all creative writers, I do have that one story, but I've just not been able to sit down and get it out.
If I want to be part of the game industry as far as creative development goes, I need to do something. I need to make a change. I need to write something. I have to find that spark, that creative fount that overflows. If you happen to know where it is, let me know.
Outside of creative writing; though, I am solid at other types of writing. Professional and technical. I mean, you've seen two of my reviews, and I think they're pretty good. The same goes for things I write up at work for customers. They're generally "form" type letters that expresses my compay’s stance on a certain situation. So, far, I think I've produced some very good ones! Other people seem to agree.
Now, technical writing, there are a few jobs at my company that needs a technical writer. Never really see anything for professional writers, but technical writing is where it is at there. Though, to be fair, professional writing can lend itself to technical writing. Any good writing can lend itself to a different type.
I need some technical writing samples; though. I need something to show potential employers that I can write.
I'm just not sure what to write up. I'm thinking of putting together a small technical document for the Starcraft II editor. It's a pretty cool tool, and it would be fun to play around with and write about. Same can be said for the Neverwinter Editor as well.
Maybe some screenshots and explanation of the toolbars and actions in the editor.
This is all leading to something. I want an active, growing portfolio of writing examples from creative to technical. I want to make it online as well. I also want to include level design samples as well as design documents for those levels.
Yes, I really do want to be in the game industry. I want to be part of the creation aspect; though.
So, here I sit, wondering where to go from here.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Endings
And the weekend ends as quickly as it started. Just like last weekend, I was greeted with a frustrating work issue in my email that I worked myself up about. That added a bit of annoyance to my days off; however, I did get some stuff done.
I got most of my chores completed. Which is good since that means I have food and clothes for the work week!
Writing; though, was not as successful. The new blog is probably the most successful, but honestly, I don't know how good it is. I actually managed to get three posts up with substance, and I have a lot of tools for story telling at my disposal if I use them right. Maybe it's starting slow, but I don't think there is a better way to do it considering the setting and story.
The writing contest stuff was less successful. I didn't get anywhere near completing a story, so nothing will be ready on October 1st. Hopefully, it's a monthly thing, or even if it's not, it'll open up again. That will give me time to refine the story I'm working on. Hopefully, it turns out good. It's around 1,800 words at the moment. I'm still under the 4,000 world limit, but I have to be careful.
I did find another contest on the site, and it's not due until November, but it's only a 1,000 world limit. So, that may be a goal for next week; however, I'm going to have to work hard to come up with a good story that works in a thousand words or less.
As for the game story, I didn't get anything written. Nothing at all. I did find some 2D engines that I forwarded to J', but that's about it. No progress. :(
Though, I submitted my Infamous 2 review to GameFaqs and it was published. Yay for that at least. I guess.
Anyway, it's about bedtime. Night from a less than successful writer who feels like he just wasted a weekend.
I got most of my chores completed. Which is good since that means I have food and clothes for the work week!
Writing; though, was not as successful. The new blog is probably the most successful, but honestly, I don't know how good it is. I actually managed to get three posts up with substance, and I have a lot of tools for story telling at my disposal if I use them right. Maybe it's starting slow, but I don't think there is a better way to do it considering the setting and story.
The writing contest stuff was less successful. I didn't get anywhere near completing a story, so nothing will be ready on October 1st. Hopefully, it's a monthly thing, or even if it's not, it'll open up again. That will give me time to refine the story I'm working on. Hopefully, it turns out good. It's around 1,800 words at the moment. I'm still under the 4,000 world limit, but I have to be careful.
I did find another contest on the site, and it's not due until November, but it's only a 1,000 world limit. So, that may be a goal for next week; however, I'm going to have to work hard to come up with a good story that works in a thousand words or less.
As for the game story, I didn't get anything written. Nothing at all. I did find some 2D engines that I forwarded to J', but that's about it. No progress. :(
Though, I submitted my Infamous 2 review to GameFaqs and it was published. Yay for that at least. I guess.
Anyway, it's about bedtime. Night from a less than successful writer who feels like he just wasted a weekend.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Weekend!
Today is the first day of my weekend, and it seems to have flown by. That's probably because I slept in way to late! Didn't get up until around ten! Blah!
So, I have a few things I want to accomplish this weekend! There's a writing contest I want to enter, but the story is due on the 1st of October. I think I can get it done this weekend. It won't be long, so that makes it a bit easier. The rules state that it is required to be no longer than 4,000 words. I'm going with the Science Fiction one this month, and I think I have a decent outline to build on. We shall see.
I also need to write something up for Project Steamworks, but I'm not sure what yet. This one is probably going to be the hardest!
And I've started a new blog. I don't know where it's going to go, but I hope it turns out to be fun and entertaining. It'll probably start off bland, and I'll need to edit stuff around at some point when I get better direction of where it's heading.
Finally, I need to clean up around the apartment and buy groceries! I hate chores! But, it must be done.
Not a super big list, but it is all quite a bit of work! I managed to finish up my list last week, so hopefully I can pull it off this week!
So, I have a few things I want to accomplish this weekend! There's a writing contest I want to enter, but the story is due on the 1st of October. I think I can get it done this weekend. It won't be long, so that makes it a bit easier. The rules state that it is required to be no longer than 4,000 words. I'm going with the Science Fiction one this month, and I think I have a decent outline to build on. We shall see.
I also need to write something up for Project Steamworks, but I'm not sure what yet. This one is probably going to be the hardest!
And I've started a new blog. I don't know where it's going to go, but I hope it turns out to be fun and entertaining. It'll probably start off bland, and I'll need to edit stuff around at some point when I get better direction of where it's heading.
Finally, I need to clean up around the apartment and buy groceries! I hate chores! But, it must be done.
Not a super big list, but it is all quite a bit of work! I managed to finish up my list last week, so hopefully I can pull it off this week!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Day 2
And by Day 2, I mean of the work week. Only working 4 days a week makes it difficult to call it a week name unless the third day is considered Wednesday before lunch and Thursday afterwards. Day 2 is just easier.
I spent for too much money on a few shirts and nit-knacks, but you know how it can be sometimes. I needed a new mousepad, really epic one. Oh, well, I hope some of the stuff can go into the eventual decoration of my apartment. Nerdy/gamer style! Still gotta save up money to do that.
I also have to save up money in case any Temp Assignments come up for my job in Cali. That would be an awesome opportunity to get, but extremely expensive. It'd probably break me, but I'd have to do it for the experience and just the great opportunity. Regardless if it lead to a permanent job.
I've had to take a break from the Web Development stuff. I think I put my head into it too much without moderation. If I didn't break, I'd hate it. So, trying to focus more on writing with a little gameplay on the side.
I've been playing Dead Island, and it's pretty fun. Fun enough smashing zombies at least. But, I have to moderate that as well. This week and weekend, I think I'm going to focus on writing, get more creative examples out there.
I have an idea for a zombie story, but not your traditional survival horror. I'll see what comes of that. However, for a fun experiment, anyone that read this, give me something. A topic of some sort to write on. An idea that I can creatively expand on. Anything. A setting, a plot, a character. Anything. Give it to me, and I'll try to turn it into something. Then, you can tell me what you think.
For now, I'm going to brainstorm ideas for my ever constant novel and my zombie story. Every writer has both, right?
I spent for too much money on a few shirts and nit-knacks, but you know how it can be sometimes. I needed a new mousepad, really epic one. Oh, well, I hope some of the stuff can go into the eventual decoration of my apartment. Nerdy/gamer style! Still gotta save up money to do that.
I also have to save up money in case any Temp Assignments come up for my job in Cali. That would be an awesome opportunity to get, but extremely expensive. It'd probably break me, but I'd have to do it for the experience and just the great opportunity. Regardless if it lead to a permanent job.
I've had to take a break from the Web Development stuff. I think I put my head into it too much without moderation. If I didn't break, I'd hate it. So, trying to focus more on writing with a little gameplay on the side.
I've been playing Dead Island, and it's pretty fun. Fun enough smashing zombies at least. But, I have to moderate that as well. This week and weekend, I think I'm going to focus on writing, get more creative examples out there.
I have an idea for a zombie story, but not your traditional survival horror. I'll see what comes of that. However, for a fun experiment, anyone that read this, give me something. A topic of some sort to write on. An idea that I can creatively expand on. Anything. A setting, a plot, a character. Anything. Give it to me, and I'll try to turn it into something. Then, you can tell me what you think.
For now, I'm going to brainstorm ideas for my ever constant novel and my zombie story. Every writer has both, right?
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